Ten-years ago, I volunteered at my first San Diego Pride Parade. I thought it would be a great way for a 19-year old like myself to get involved, while getting into the Pride Festival for free. The year was 1999 and things were ok for the LGBT community. We were starting to see a bit more acceptance in society, Ellen had come out a couple years earlier, and our LGBT organizations were becoming large and strong political forces.

But then in San Diego, as the annual parade was making its’ flamboyant trip through Hillcrest, it was briefly stopped as a tear gas cannister was set-off in the crowd. I was a Pride security volunteer and was placed directly across the street from the site of the tear gas explosion. Being involved in an incident like this was the certainly the last thing I thought I would ever experience. It was 1999 after all, I was young, gay, and out…in Hillcrest… at Pride.

We did not let it get us down, however.  I remember the parade resumed about 20-minutes later, but it was a frightening experience. Once the tear gas reached my nose and eyes, I started tearing up, choking, and coughing – with my only instinct telling me to run. We were astonished… I remember saying to friends, family, and co-workers afterwards, “I can’t believe people still hold so much hate in 1999!”

So now it is 2009 – 10 years later. And hate still exists. Just the other night a good friend and I were having dinner at Denny’s in North Park (it was one of those late night cravings). Towards the end of our meal, a group of three marines entered and had a seat at their “regular table”. By the look of their interactions with the hostess, they were regular customers at this location. When the waitress asked one of the servicemembers if he wanted nuts on his ice cream sundae, he immaturely (and loudly) responded “You know I don’t like nuts”. Him and his buddies exploded with laughter.

Then, he says “Gosh, I’m so homophobic, it’s not funny” followed by laughter again. He caught himself after saying that and again, loudly, said “Maybe I shouldn’t say that so loud… actually, you know what, who the f*$! cares… I am homophobic and proud of it.” They all laughed again.

My friend and I got up and left, scratching our heads, saying “Gosh, it’s 2009! How can people still be so stupid!?”

I then thought about all of our LGBT military servicemembers who have to put up with this on a daily basis. These young men were clearly marines, and while I am thankful for their service to our country, the homophobic attitudes that are perpetuated, and encouraged within the military institution are shocking. We absolutely must repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and ensure that LGBT servicemembers are respected and protected. Check out the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network if you are interested in getting involved with the effort to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

Hate happens every day in San Diego and across the world. While this incident may seem mild to some, it is a clear reminder that our community has a lot of work left to do. It is important that we all come together and take a stand against hate. Get involved. Come out. Educate friends and co-workers. Be safe.

Let’s hope that in the new decade that is approaching, we can move closer towards a hate-free world.